2120…

This is where I am now. But just a century ago, in 2020, everything felt so different. It was like the world hit pause, and we were all caught in this surreal, in-between space. No one knew what was happening, or what was coming. And I remember, back then, everything seemed so uncertain. I couldn’t figure out which step to take, what decision to make… I had no idea.

I still remember those first days. We were all locked inside our homes, isolated from the world, like we were drifting through this collective pause. The world seemed to be on the verge of breaking apart, and I could feel it—this quiet chaos. It wasn’t just the pandemic, it was this underlying sense that everything was shifting, changing in ways we couldn’t quite understand.

Time was weird back then. It slowed down, but at the same time, it felt like it was flying by. I would wake up, go through the motions of the day, and then go back to bed, but I had no real sense of what I was doing. No sense of what I was working towards. It felt like everything was frozen in place, like I was stuck in a loop, waiting for something to happen, waiting for life to somehow resume.

But honestly, in hindsight, maybe it wasn’t all bad. Maybe 2020 was the year we were supposed to be forced into ourselves, into the things we were too busy to notice before. A year to be lost, so we could eventually find something. Or maybe we didn’t find it, and that’s okay too.

There was this strange pressure to “make the most” of the time. And yet, it felt like every day was a reminder that the world was out of control. But maybe that’s the paradox, right? The more you try to control it, the more it slips away. All I wanted back then was to be anywhere else but where I was, but now I realize that space—those empty days—shaped the person I’m becoming now.

Now!

In 2120, things are moving faster, life feels a little more solid. But I still carry those days with me, those quiet, restless hours. Maybe I didn’t realize it at the time, but they were defining moments. I was searching for answers then, just as I’m still searching now, only maybe with a bit more clarity.

And yet, I can’t help but wonder: am I still in 2020 in some way? Just a different version of me, with new lessons and a different perspective?

Maybe I’m still trying to figure it out.